Digging through my english projects.

Found this vignette that I wrote last year:

Why Not?
Chelsey Rubin
11/15/05

It’s happening. I didn’t even realize it. Not until that disturbing thought crept into my mind without my consent. For a moment I questioned- Why not? Why do I have to work so hard to do the things I once never doubted? The things I can’t conceive as to why people would even do. It’s everywhere. I’m surrounded by it. Do I think it is morally right? No. Everyone else is doing it and having so much fun. I have to constantly struggle; strive to continue on my personal route when the whole world seams to be ramming into me as they run in the opposite direction. For a moment the desperate thought came into my mind- Why not? Why? If I am doing the right thing, why do I have to struggle the most? Should not my life be smoother? What about the ridiculous media that I roll my eyes at. Why did I for a moment find a slight appeal? Why are the bad things occasionally appearing more satisfying? Just make it stop. All of it goes away when I’m at home, at church, surrounded by people who are like me. People who do the things I now struggle with. It did not use to be a question at all. When I was younger there was no confusion, no struggle. I did not ask the question- Why not?